People are often uncomfortable talking about sexuality, especially in how it relates to disability. JD Otsuka’s play “Pillow Talk” challenges that discomfort directly.
Pillow Talk was one of four plays selected for a staged reading at the Disabled Playwrights Workshop. The play is a single scene between a couple preparing for their first time having sex; one of the two characters is a wheelchair user. Otsuka felt it was important to display how disability can make intimacy different—but also how much it doesn’t.
“Pillow Talk is a play about intimacy, connection, and disability in that order. The reason I think of it as being in that order is because I wanted to present a story of a couple’s first time first and foremost. That’s a night that can be awkward, but also very special. Does being disabled change that? Yes and no,” Otsuka said. “It’s still about two people learning about each other and how they fit together. Even if you’ve got to approach it a little differently because of physical limitations, the end goal is still the same.”
Otsuka said they made a point of portraying sexuality differently than a lot of media tends to do so—in many contexts, it’s an easy narrative shortcut to illustrate that characters have reached a milestone in their relationship. In Pillow Talk, by contrast, Otsuka portrays it as awkward and sometimes uncomfortable. The play approaches the conversation with a sense of levity and humor, even if the characters both agree they want a more intimate relationship, discussing it is difficult for them.
“For people with disabilities, reaching that ‘milestone’ can be a different experience. Like I showed in Pillow Talk, it can involve a lot more conversation and planning. It’s not always a matter of ‘Hey, I’m feeling ready, let’s do this!’ It can be scary, worrisome, and unpredictable. Even more so than it already is for the average person,” Otsuka said. “All that being said, it’s also important to recognize and remember that if you’re with the right person and the two of you are looking out for each other, while it’s different, it doesn’t have to be any more difficult.”
Pillow Talk also makes a point of approaching the topic with an emphasis on straightforward language and conversation, something Otsuka said was a big part of the intention.
“In my own opinion, we make way too big a deal about sex. The way we talk about it, the way we don’t talk about it, the level of importance we place on it. It’s exhausting. The same can be said for how society views disability most of the time. You shouldn’t say this to a disabled person, you should avoid these questions, use this terminology, not that one,” they said.
In the end, that’s a big part of why Otsuka wrote Pillow Talk and submitted it to the Disabled Playwrights Workshop—they wanted to challenge some of the taboos around both disability and sex.
“My goal in writing it was to present a story about the intimate and sexual side of living with a disability, a topic I feel isn’t often covered. When it is, it isn’t handled well most of the time. Disabled individuals are just as capable of having intimate relationships, and it’s important to recognize that,” they said. “I think if we all took the opportunity to be more frank and open about discussing these topics, we’d find that they’d be a lot less scary.”
JD Otsuka
JD Otsuka is a non-binary, New Mexico-based, disabled playwright! Having a passion for writing and performing, they feel right at home in the theatre world. They were born with Achondroplasia, a form of short-limb dwarfism, and are happy and honored to be amongst fellow disabled playwrights in this festival. They thank the University of Kentucky for providing such an opportunity.
