{"id":97,"date":"2023-09-28T20:58:19","date_gmt":"2023-09-28T20:58:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hdi.hdiuky.net\/sphere\/2023\/09\/28\/suicide-prevention-bailey\/"},"modified":"2023-09-28T20:58:19","modified_gmt":"2023-09-28T20:58:19","slug":"suicide-prevention-bailey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hdi.uky.edu\/sphere\/suicide-prevention-bailey\/","title":{"rendered":"“I hate being treated like an emergency waiting to happen.” UK student Bailey Patterson speaks on her experience with suicide and wanting to help others"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The following article discusses suicide, suicidal ideation, miscarriage, and sexual abuse, which some readers may find distressing. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Bailey Patterson was 4 or 5 when she began struggling with suicidal thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThings like \u2018I wish I\u2019d never been born,\u2019 \u2018I don\u2019t want to be here,\u2019 \u2018I wish I would die,\u2019\u201d Patterson, a senior Interdisciplinary Disability Studies major at UK who identifies as multiply disabled, said. \u201cThose thoughts progressed as life threw me more curveballs, where I was pretty actively having suicidal thoughts probably every day of my life when I was in middle school and high school. Still, I would never have a plan, it was just pretty aggressive thoughts.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That lasted until she was 16, when a friend had experienced a traumatic event for which Patterson felt responsible. Her mother interrupted her first suicide attempt shortly after that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Patterson is not alone in struggling with suicidal thoughts. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the US. The World Health Organization reports that it is the fourth leading cause of death among 15 to 29-year-olds. The CDC reports that 12.3 million American adults have serious suicidal thoughts and 1.7 million attempt suicide. In 2022, 49,449 people died by suicide. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Patterson considers herself chronically suicidal, but stresses that suicide is a complex issue. Mental illness is often a component of it – according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 46 percent of people who die by suicide have a known mental health condition – but Patterson stresses that there are other extenuating circumstances. She remembers her first stay as an inpatient in a mental health facility. The only other patients in her ward were girls, ages 12 to 17.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere was a really common thread about gender-based violence,\u201d she said. \u201cSeveral of the girls on the ward had been sexually abused by older men.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Patterson noted that she thinks this ties into a major factor in suicide that is commonly overlooked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s this narrative in popular culture that if someone is suicidal, it\u2019s because they don\u2019t see the value in their lives or they\u2019re depressed, and you can do this that and the other to make it go away. You can take long walks and you can eat healthier and you\u2019ll feel less depressed,\u201d she said. \u201cFor many people, the cause of the suicidal thoughts or the depression is the situation they\u2019re living in. There are people living in current abusive situations that they feel they have no way of escaping from, there are people who are dealing with interpersonal violence or abuse, there are people who are homeless, there are people who are in poverty, there are people who are experiencing systemic interpersonal racism and sexism and bigotry. Those things are not things that you can walk and eat better to get rid of.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That means that addressing those issues will help also help address the risk of suicide among marginalized populations. Patterson believes that addressing those issues while promoting mental health will do a lot to solve the problem.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel like if we understood that and worked towards those goals while also keeping in mind personal wellness and self-care and things like that, that would be a big help,\u201d she said. \u201cA lot of people are overlooking some of the greatest causes of distress that are leading people to be suicidal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She also remembers difficult times and experiences for both her and the others she met during her two inpatient stays. Among them, she particularly recalls a patient with a fear of needles being given medication by injection against her wishes when that patient felt there were other ways to administer similar medication and another woman on her second trip to inpatient services who had been pregnant when she was checked in and miscarried after being given a medication early in her stay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That experience awakened in Patterson a desire to help others with the same struggles. Now, she channels that into standing against abuse and the loss of autonomy in psychiatric settings. Currently, Bailey is a Student Informatician with SPHERE at HDI, Officer of the Disabled and Ill Student Coalition, and an activism and research advocate in the Mad Pride and Psychiatric Survivors movements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe feeling of solidarity with these other with these other people who were also experiencing something similar to what I was in the moment, being there, hearing their stories changed my life,\u201d she said. \u201cThat was the first moment where I thought \u2018this is important and I want to do something about this for the rest of my life.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helping others is one of the ways in which she deals with the frequent thoughts of suicide that she still experiences – and feels like she will always experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI manage, like a lot of us do,\u201d she said. \u201cTake it one day at a time and try to take care of myself as best I can, but I do not foresee a life for myself where I do not feel suicidal in some degree most days of my life. That\u2019s probably just the way it is for me. That\u2019s something that I\u2019m going to have to continue to manage for the rest of my life, and I think that\u2019s ok.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s found a few coping mechanisms that can help when the thoughts get particularly bad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne of the things that I do is I try to imagine a time in the future where I am happy,\u201d she said. \u201cThat can be really hard, especially when you\u2019re very depressed, but I have a couple of things in my mind, scenarios where I could be doing this thing that would be a happy moment for me. I try to really picture it and stay in that moment\u2026then I try with all my might to believe that could happen for me one day. That\u2019s my best coping mechanism thus far.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if someone close to you is struggling with suicidal thoughts, Patterson stressed that one of the best ways to help is to keep treating them like a human being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnyone who hears that their loved one is going to have emotions that come up for them, but I think the number one thing you can do is not freak out,\u201d she said. \u201cYou should be there, and you should attend to the problems\u2026I sometimes get the feeling that we are treated like a danger. I hate being treated like an emergency waiting to happen. I think the best thing you can do is just be calm and present for that person and realize that the person speaking to you is the person you\u2019ve known.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Warning signs of suicide may include: <\/p>\n\n\n\n